MOTHER
By Temporal Hiccup
DISCLAIMER: Some of the following characters do not belong to me, and are property of someone else. But I’m not making any money here, so peace! Comments and constructive criticism are welcome! This is my very first fanfic in more than ten years, so please, be gentle. Please let me know if you liked the story :D
WARNING: RATED T, some profanity used.
INSPIRATION: David Bowie’s LOW album and “The New Mother” by Lucy Lane Clifford (1882).
***
“In this age of grand illusion you walked into my life out of my dreams
I don't need another change, still you forced away into my scheme of things
You say we're growing, growing heart and soul
In this age of grand illusion you walked into my life out of my dreams
Sweet name, you're born once again for me
Sweet name, you're born once again for me
Oh sweet name, I call you again, you're born once again for me
Just because I believe don't mean I don't think as well
Don't have to question everything in heaven or hell”
- Word on a Wing (Station to Station), David Bowie.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Susan heard her heels clicking loudly against cement, and she winced as the sound echoed through the narrow staircase. Sighing, she bent over and pulled off the shoes that gleamed cheaply from her feet. The sun was almost rising and she didn't want to wake anyone in the small building – most especially the landlady.
Susan hurried past on her stockinged feet, allowing herself one guilty glance at the landlady's door. She was three months behind on her payments, but one could only avoid something like this for so long.
"Oh god, no." she whispered under her breath, biting down on the profanities that wanted to spill from her lipstick heavy mouth.
Susan stared at the warning of eviction notice on her door, struck dumbfounded. Where could she possibly get the money in seven days?
The sudden wailing coming from behind the door broke past her approaching nervous breakdown. Susan gritted her teeth and fished through her knockoff bag for the keys. The soft, hesitant cries slowly grew into outright shrieks, and she knew it was only a matter of time before a neighbour intervened.
Fighting back tears of frustration, Susan's hand roughly pushed aside the pills and the condoms before finally grasping the cool metal of the keys. She thrust one into the lock and practically slammed the door behind her before locking it.
The child had somehow gotten out of its crib, and was sitting in the middle of the filthy wooden floor. He bawled amidst the empty pizza boxes, the flies buzzing around cartons of Chinese take-out, the stack of bills that had been haphazardly stuffed under the couch. The incredible mess of the apartment only emphasized how cramped the quarters were; how pathetically small the space was. The only area that was relatively clean was that of a tiny bookcase, but even that had a thick layer of dust over it, untouched as it were.
His blonde hair was a mess, hanging around his dirt-stained cheeks, his face red from the effort of crying so loudly.
Susan threw down her things and choking back a sob picked up the toddler. His arms hung limply at his sides as she vainly tried to soothe and shush him.
Susan looked around the apartment, realized that the baby sitter had once again given up and left the child alone. At least the baby sitter had the courtesy to lock the door behind her this time.
"Come on baby, stop crying. Stop crying for mommy, mommy is sorry she had to leave you alone again..."
But the baby continued to wail relentlessly, apparently not even noticing that his mother was holding him. Predictably, thuds were heard from behind the thin walls, along with curses and threats from other tenants.
Susan roughly placed the baby back into the crib, and found herself shrieking in impatience when her son resisted and pushed at her, who was trying to stand in the crib and climb out of it again.
"Don't you understand? Mommy is TOO TIRED. Mommy CAN'T TAKE THIS. Mommy didn't even WANT you in the fucking first place! She didn't ASK to get knocked up by that good for nothing cop who fucking turned out to be fucking married and and and..."
Susan broke down, her knees buckling underneath her, aware that her mascara was running down her cheeks, her snot dripping from her nose. She pressed the back of her hands to her eyes, her howls matching that of the baby's. The worn make-up stung her eyes, made her see stars. She allowed the sobs to slowly ease off her body, until they were only whimpers in the back of her throat. The baby’s cries continued unabated, his lungs expanding his tiny little chest.
Susan's throbbing eyes caught sight of a small, unassuming book from the shelf. It was a small pool of red amidst the dust and the dirt and the grime of her apartment. Unbidden, the lines of a fantastical escape came to her lips, words she hadn't even realized she still remembered.
"I wish," she whispered, and it seemed like the baby's hysterical cries were fading while the wind fuelled by the oncoming morning was outside and suddenly pushed itself hard against her window, "I wish the goblins would come and take you away."
The wind died. Susan sighed, getting up, wincing as her aching body protested against the physical exertion. She walked over to the door to pick up her bag and shoes, only to slowly realize how quiet the apartment suddenly was.
Sensing a presence, Susan whirled around to find an owl impossibly floating in the middle of the room.
Susan blinked, but it was no owl. She wasn't sure how she could have mistaken the tall, elegant, and completely unnatural beauty in the middle of the room to be anything but what she was.
The strange woman had the baby in her arms.
"What, what are you doing? Who are you? Get the fuck out of my apartment! Let GO of him!"
The stranger looked at her coldly, her dark eyes flashing dangerously against her pale skin. "Is this how you treat your summoned masters, little human?"
"Summoned...what?" Susan stared dumbfounded, her hand instinctively feeling around for the knife she kept on her bag. She had only used it that one time before, and she wasn't even sure if she knew what to do with it now.
The stranger gave an impatient small sound, throwing a reactive motion with the hand that wasn't holding the child. Susan felt the bag pull away from her, watched dumbfounded as it slammed against the other side of the wall.
"You call the Goblin Queen to take away the child, and here is the Goblin Queen before you." The queen gave an impatient shake of her head, her long auburn hair tumbling around her shoulders like a waterfall of silk.
Susan's eyes widened, and she choked out, "Queen...?"
"Yes, yes, Queen. Now I really don't have the time to be in such a..." the goblin gave a brief and judgemental glance about the room, "...place. Goodbye."
The whole time, the baby was so quiet in the arms of this strange woman who called herself a queen.
Susan suddenly found herself at the feet of this monster, her thin hands clutching at the white gown desperately. The small circular scars on Susan’s forearms stood out against the unhealthy pallor of her skin. "GIVE HIM BACK!" she yelled desperately.
The queen stopped, and stared at Susan unblinkingly. Stared so hard and long, Susan almost completely forgot everything. Absolutely everything.
"Do you really want it?"
"...what?"
"Is this just some sort of human," the Queen paused as her strange eyes sought for the words, "motherly instinct? Or do you truly want me to return this babe to you?"
"I, of course I..."
Susan stopped, and found herself unable to speak. She looked into the eyes of her son, they were wide eyed and staring. She looked at his strange, mismatched eyes. There had been an accident when he was an infant, and her insurance wouldn't cover the corrective surgery completely, which left one eye permanently dilated. That eye, against the weak light of the dawn, seemed to glow green while the other remained blue.
She couldn't take care of him.
She could barely take care of herself.
Susan didn't say anything for the longest time. Time stopped, and the Queen's eyes suddenly took on a different tone. They were not kinder, nor gentler—simply less sharp in this light.
Finally, Susan managed to ask brokenly, "Would he be happy?"
The queen cocked her head, as if genuinely contemplating the idea. Still, she had the unnerving ability to not blink.
"In the Underground, one is never truly happy, or sad. One just is."
Susan nodded. Of course. How could she have forgotten?
In the breaking light of sunrise, Susan suddenly looked, for the first time in the longest time, beautiful. She looked straight into the eyes of her son, and repeated, "I wish the goblins would come and take you away." With her own eyes wide open, she burned the memory of his face into her mind.
Susan closed her eyes.
When she finally opened them again, the half-light of the dawn had shifted into the harsh light of morning, throwing shadows into the premature lines on her face. She was the only one in the apartment.
"Goodbye, Jareth." Susan whispered, crumpled on the floor like a broken doll.
***
The Goblin King tightened his thin lips, tearing his gaze away from the crystal ball before him. He gripped the orb in his hands, throwing it against the wall.
It exploded violently, mere inches away from the face of the Goblin Queen. Her only reaction was the barest hint of a wry smile across her pristine and perfect features. She continued to look outside the window, amusedly watching the child Sara make her way clumsily through the Labyrinth.
Jareth, suddenly regretful, stood up from his throne and made his way towards the shards. His long white blond hair fell across his face and hid his mouth and its emotion from view. He pressed an ungloved hand against the remains, watching as his skin split open in small ways. No blood welled up from his fingertips. He had stopped bleeding a long time ago.
"Goodbye, mother," he whispered, his mismatched eyes growing dim in the darkness.
The Goblin Queen noticed that his reaction waned each time he chose to look into the glass of memories. She turned to look at him, her eyes simply less sharp in light.
“Yes, Goodbye.” She repeated, her smile empty and cold. She opened her arms, and waited for Jareth’s warmth to fill the void.
FIN
Mother by Temporal Hiccup
[Reviews - 2]
| Table of Contents | - Text Size + End Notes:
Special thanks to Matthew and January for proof-reading and killing my grammar demons.
So I really love the Labyrinth, but more than that, I recently fell madly and obsessively in love with David Bowie. My boyfriend now regrets ever introducing me to him. We watched Labyrinth again recently, and his off hand comment about how open to interpretation the movie is made me realize that there must be a wealth of fanfiction out there. And Lo and Behold, there was!
I had an inkling for a story in my head for about two months now, but I’ve had inklings before, and had never really written fanfiction successfully for the past 10+ years that I’ve been on the internet.
I really don’t know what’s different about tonight, but this suddenly bubbled up and demanded to be written within the space of one hour. It may be because I spent most of the night listening to Bowie’s album “LOW” on repeat. I don’t know what else to do with it except post it, and hope some of you out there like it. If you do, maybe I’ll write more? I really don’t know!
The concept of the Goblin Queen must have been done before in fanfiction, but I'm hoping I provided an interesting enough take to make it worth the read.
All comments and suggestions and really nice compliments can be sent and graciously received at:
temporalhiccup at gmail dot com
Reviews here at the site would be highly appreciated as well!
Thanks!
Jammi aka Temporal Hiccup